For me {NEW POEM}.


forme

FOR ME 

THE HARDEST part of this journey 

Was forgiving myself for 

Taking on others beliefs 

Of what beauty was

Of dark skin being ugly 

Of myself of being less than

Of not being worthy of MORE

Looking in the mirror at 300 pounds 

I saw disgust 

I saw someone I didn’t know

I saw someone who was hiding 

No longer the one who knew her worth 

Just no clarity 

Heart drowning in pain 

Begging for freedom 

Begging for love 

Begging for redemption 

Stepping on that scale in 2012

She said 300 pounds 

I just went numb 

I cried 

Because this was rock bottom 

College 4 years Visual Communication

Intelligent 

Big heart ❤

I knew this woman I had grown into couldn’t remain

I always wanted to love myself in my skin 

Be someone who took care of herself 

In my presence you felt ME

You felt GOD 

YOU FELT GENUINENESS 

Nothing less than real 

I had to remove those beliefs put on from others

It crippled me 

It crippled my soul 

It brought me to a state of depression twice 

The last one I wanted to fulfill someone else’s dream 

It wasn’t my own 

I have a heart to serve for others 

But on this journey I had to do it FOR ME

This is mine 

I can’t live for anyone else 

I tried and I failed 

I had to pick up the pieces 

Find love within myself 

I knew he couldn’t fulfill what was needed 

Because it was something I had to fulfill within 

Every life I touch 

Every women I can inspire, empower and encourage

Every pound I release just know 

I’m doing it FOR ME 

Love, Peace and Honesty

Dreya ❤

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Stronger Than That…{NEW POEM}


stronger

Stronger Than That…

It’s been a weight on me ever since I decided to let go

Some days I’m good

Other days I’m in need of you

Sometimes it’s days consistently 

Keeps me torn

The first heartbreak didn’t see coming 

Second one I got burnt 

Third time I just got sick of it

No commitment

Why am I in this?

That’s what I ask

You were there during rough times 

Your belief in me was stronger than mine

But now it’s time I get back to mine 

Building my belief 

Building back my momentum 

No half stepping bullshit

It’s not cutting it 

Physically I’m not around you

Mentally your still in my system 

But I gotta get rid of you

It’s almost like a drug 

But my heart been through enough 

I know I am enough, more than enough 

To get what I deserve 

I’m not her anymore 

She doesn’t need another persons validation 

All she need is her own 

With the guidance of God

You played with my emotions 

You played with my heart 

I’m not about that life 

Never was and never will believe 

The shit you’ve done 

I’m stronger than that

Love, Peace and Honesty,

Dreya

Random Post…{September 5th,2016}


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2012…yeah that was me. The year I fell into depression after a year and change graduating from college and not working in my field. Was promised this 6 Figure job by Westwood College, never happened. Ended up working at Wegmans 7 years but I’m grateful because the depression lead me to finding my voice furthermore with my poetry. I learned that I lost confidence, I wanted love from someone who didn’t love themselves or know themselves plus wasn’t for me. This moment in time I fed the void of feeling empty with food. Empty because I wanted to be working fill time doing something I loved, I wanted to independence and I would be compared to friends and I felt less than. Wasn’t sure of my purpose at this time, everyone told me to be grateful for this “job”…I wanted more. It wasn’t until I met Cristi Burnham where I felt understood. This was a rough time in my life and I was distant from everyone …I was hiding from the world. I wasn’t happy with me. I truly was just existing in life instead of living in my full purpose and potential.

You don’t know what you don’t know, I had to be alone to figure myself out. You have no idea hat the truth is until have that time ❤️ it was a hard pill to swallow graduating and watching your friends go straight into their field of study and you have to work at a dead end job just to “tolerate”. It doesn’t feel good and I got sick and tired of tolerating a job for money. I quickly got tired of the paycheck to paycheck life and I knew I wanted more ! Everyone around me was stagnant and that was it for them. I know then and now there is more for me. It’s up to me to go get it. Nobody will go get what God has for me. I’m grateful for the talents God has gave me and this beautiful blessing called Herbalife. I GET to be me, flow and prosper. Life is what you make it, we only get ONE. Why not make it the best? Be blessed.

Love, Peace & Honesty

Your future favorite health coach,

Dreya the exFATgirl

NEW POEM …{August 27,16}


Untitled – Augnewbeginnings

Masking how I feel
I can’t deal
Building a business
Mental game gotta be strong
But for so long that’s all I’ve been
Strong …

Not having moments to be weak
To be vulnerable
To release
To heal
To accept that I love you
Even when I told myself not too

That’s the shit that burns the most
Because your not here to feel this hurt
Knowing I promised myself
I wasn’t gonna fall again
Until my King would catch me
Because for so long it’s just been me

Loving hard
Caring hard
Supporting hard
All I know is to go hard
Give 100 of myself, or nothing at all
But I have yet to do that for me

Theres no apology that can seal this
It’s as real as it gets
Just forgive and move on
I let you go so many times
Letting you back in because I feel comfort
I knew I had to let you go
Doing it once again hurt me so

I want you to feel my heart
I want you to feel the pain
I want you to feel the disappointment
But I know this too shall pass
This is for a moment
You know I bounce back

I still pray for you
As I pray for myself
My worth you couldn’t see
So I had to choose me
Even crying as I decided too
Just know I love you

Whether you realize how real it was
Whether you realize you had a good thing
Whether you realize you had my heart
Or not thank you for being a mistake
A mistake I had to grow from
A mistake that’ll make me a new

August 14th, 2016 …{Random Post…}


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Hey my loves,

Ahhhh I’m back again. Sooner than later this time, lol. Crazy busy weekend. My nerves are going crazy a bit right now though. A million things crossing it so I said why not blog about what’s on my mind. First off, I’m currently fighting to find consistency in this crazy schedule of mine and in the process of building a empire that I’m aiming to have 7 streams of income. Right now to me I just need to build my way back up to working out 6 times a week, so start with 3 times a week. Seems low to me but I need to start with three times a week and aim for 2 out of those 3 to be 2 a days. My work outs have been ways inconsistent. So I’m stressed about that and I haven’t been into the gym in months I don’t think. So I have to find my way there, I use to work out daily. I can’t live in the past and it’s time to up my results and this body. I want to finish out this road to 200 pounds within this #90Daysoflovingdreya which began August 1st,2016 plus I began the 21 day cleanse from Herbalife.

Consistency is the key to everything so some way I have to find it again and my flow within that so I can get my dream body popping. One other thing is just fulfilling all I’ve declared for this month, I’ve been in my head some days and then last week I began to feel sick so I was like great. I completely want to just start over. I’ve realized a great deal of weight already but I just want my 200 pounds so I can be happy, lol. Hitting 200 pounds mean I’d officially be 100 pounds down from 300 pounds. I don’t know anyone that’s released 100 pounds so I want to be that person. There’s such pride behind that even though I feel like 88pounds is a lot too but there’s more to be released. I just have to be consistent with it.

 

Reintroducing my brand is on my mind as well. New body, new mindset and new everything with a new platform to make bigger and better moves. I have 17 days to release 10 pounds and then accomplish gaining new clients as well. Busy week ahead of me as usual. But I know I’m in a need of MORE and also expanding because I feel like I’ll go crazy but I need to find consistency to gain that MORE that I’ve been feening for. Everything I’ve been praying for is here, I just have to manage myself ALOT better and the energy needed to handle it all. ❤

Love, Peace and Honesty,

Dreya the exFATgirl

Random post {October 20th, 2015}


I don’t desire to be defined but to redefine societies definition of beauty, success and sexy. Always feeling like I’m the under dog I feel entitled to show, you can make your own way out of no way. I don’t wish to be skinny but rather make others uncomfortable with my thick because it’s just the right fit for me. God created us differently so why fit in when we’re meant to stand out?

My legacy I want to be all about self love, self empowerment and bold confidence to live and move forward even in the mist of adversity. Women of color to me get hit the hardest of them all and it’s a goal of mine to build us up. I’ve been the outkast, I’ve been the under dog and in a sense now I’m feeling loved. Once I found what I love, what my flow is and my it factor I can go in. I want to help others find it.

Being a darker hue shade of black I truly feel the urge to help women of darker hues be confident in their skin, I know the battle and I can see it’s still in today’s culture of society. It’s in my heart to help in a way that will impact majorly and positively. There’s no need to frown when God gave us the crown. Too often in our black community do we tear each other down I’d rather be apart of creating space of building each other up. I love my sistahs ❤️ we’re in this thing together and with so many aspects trying to break us, someone has to make a difference. Why not let it be me?

From my curves to my skin I love what’s within, can’t nobody take what God has given me and I just want to pass the gift that’s been given to make my sistah smile because she loves herself, her curves and her testimony because she made it to her victory 👑

Random Thoughts {September 16th, 2015}….


Random Thoughts {September 16th, 2015}….

There’s a beast who is inside of me that lived once before. Tapping into her has been the battle of my life, the amount of fearless, independence and confidence I felt in 2013 it’s all I want. I was on a consistent schedule, strict eating and God was so into my soul. Gods presence has never left I feel Him moving but the fierce, fearless and go getter attitude is hiding. It’s hurting me that for some reason I just can’t tab into that beast. That momentum was fireeeeeee & people saw it. I don’t know how long I’ll have to fight to get my beast mode back but I need her. It don’t feel the same …

When you know and have felt your full potential you just know when you can go harder…I’m going to tab back into her. I’m the exFATgirl fueled by Herbalife ❤

Love, Peace & Honesty …

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Put Up a Fight … {NEW POEM}


Put Up a Fight

There’s a vision in my heart
I’ve already got a head start
Nobody said it would be easy
But it’s not easy pushing to leave my mark
Some of my toughest battles I didn’t know I’d win …
Depression ✔️
Self Confidence ✔️
Obesity ✔️
Those are just a few, you never know what’s next to grow through

My standards are set high
I came from a loving family
But I’ve seen the struggle, I’ve felt the struggle
So to live beyond just comfortable
To be able to live without hesitation
And not in scarcity
Yeah that’s what I mean…
I’m meant to live as a Queen
Getting there I’ll need to fight

For the guys who did me wrong
For each person who took advantage
For the sake of my family
For the girl battling her self because of her skin
For the woman battling her weight
For each and every person who believes in me
For each person who’s waiting for me to slip up
I gotta put up a fight

Biggest battles I currently face is all inner
I must decrease so that Father God can increase in all aspects of my life
Strip anxiety, fear, stress and negativity out of my life
Help me carry out the vision you seek for my life
Change my mindset
Change my consistency
Strengthen my heart and physical being
So I’m able to put up a fight – Amen

Release ✨ September 3rd, 2015 ✨


Release ✨ September 3rd, 2015 ✨

Hello loves aka my readers,

I’m just getting off a 21 day detox, it was tough the first two weeks because I couldn’t have meat. I was dependent on meat for protein so my body went through so many withdraws on this detox but I lost 7 pounds and 3.5 inches. Transitioning back to regular food and meat I’ll do it different. It’s going to be a surprise but I’ll let you guys know how it goes.

I’m really just zoning out and going back to what I love. Finding balance with time, getting all aspects of my life together because I’ve felt off and unclear because of life. So getting a clear mind, heart and vision is my focus currently. When I can’t think clear or focus I know something is inside going on, I’m ready for the next level so to get there I’m emptying my inside to be filled up with God’s grace and blessings for my life.

Life has thrown so many stones, I can honestly say God protects me and when HE wants me to listen to HIM, HE grabs my attention quick. I know I can’t go without HIM so I have no choice but to listen. Feeling the ways I have and in need of more in my life, in my heart and mental clarity. Sometimes we have to separate ourselves from everyone and the world to gain clarity. That’s where I am. It feels kind of good too. For three days I’m restoring myself mentally, spiritually and emotionally, today’s day 2. Let’s see how this goes…I’m ready to break these shackles off my feet & fly.

Love, Peace & Honesty,

Dreya the exFATgirl

Random Post {July 28th, 2015}


Random Post {July 28th, 2015}….

July has been yet again another emotional month for me. But also awakening in the sense of I feel God’s presence strongly speaking to me …just like when HE spoke to me back when I first started my journey and I had got baptized a few months after I started my weight loss journey. I’ve been battling my flesh on many things so I chose to go on a detox and take back control where I can. I wasn’t afraid starting my journey and I desperately needed to get back to that place.

My heart finally is in the right place, it’s happy because I don’t hate my job which I’m now helping take care of my grandmother so that she doesn’t have to go into a nursing home and pursuing my passion in life…helping others as a health coach. After spending 7 years as a cashier I feel extremely free. I feel closer to my calling in life and I’m surrounded by nothing but love.

I fell in love with a friend of mine who’s amazing and he’s everything I desire in a grown man. Months ago we agreed to maintaining a friendship because we don’t want to mess up such a beautiful friendship we have. No lie it’s hard to not cross that line and I look at him as one of my best guy friends I rather have him in my life as a friend than not at all. I recently learned that I lean on him for much support and not enough on my Faith which I’m changing right now. God has a way of making you realize things and that’s what happened. I wasn’t praying enough or spending enough time with God ! I was instead seeking help and guidance from others outside of HIM who can change it all.

I’m not perfect, I’m a work in progress and I know I want love in the most genuine form that’s the real thing because I feel like I’ve gone through enough heartache God has to have a special King just waiting for me lol there’s so much more life for me to live, I know I have to do some more living before I take that path down the road of Marriage and Motherhood 💕 I pray in the next two years those will be fulfilled that’s why I’m so determined to get these career paths popping. exFATgirl in the building 💪🏾