REDEMPTION …{3/17/17}


FullSizeRender-6With my whole heart ❤ 

I now understand why I had to grow through all that I did 

Even though it hurt deeply 

It caused deep wounds 

It paralyzed me for years 

It made me dislike people 

It made me believe things 

But once I understand the power of FORGIVENESS 

Not for them but for ME

Everything has changed 

Stepped into 2017 a whole new me

God saw it all

Guided my steps 

Took away the tears

Withdraw the fears 

Now action cures fear 

I can feel my REDEMPTION 

Is near

No turning back {Poem}…Reflecting


At a young age I knew pain
At a young age I felt ashamed
I looked in the mirror
I didn’t see DIVA
I saw big, dark and ugly
There’s no explaining how I felt
I couldn’t accept myself
Tears falling down of the heartache inside
Each night wanting to hide
Not knowing the true beauty I held

You search to find stability from him
But you don’t need validation from them
God gave you validation
Hold your head high
Smile as you look to the sky
Pick your soul up from Gods grace
My long awaited soul search taught me
How all I need is me
After 10 years I finally know me
I finally feel free

I’ve embraced my curves
From my thick thighs, beautiful smile and my Diva swag
Rocking my Michael Kors bag
I got my dreams, my goals and MY GOD
He’s gon take me there
I don’t depend on others to hand me my dreams
God given talents leads God given dreams
My strive, encourages my drive
I’m walking through darkness
Ultimately I will shine

There’s many watching me to fall
Not wanting me to succeed at all
I can’t be who they want me to be
All I care about is the Lord up above and ME
Fear. Tears. Scared.
I will get through it
Learn from my past, work through my present and run to my future
Who can be against me if God is for me?
No weapons formed against me shall prosper
To that I say there’s no turning back

Bold Enough…{New Poem}


bold

Bold Enough…

I love who I’m growing into
Still building up my confidence
Now I’m more confident to be comfortable in my skin
I can smile
And it’s genuine

I see myself solid
Standing tall
A powerful presence
Humble still with a heart of gold
But bold enough to know

I’m chosen
My God told me to stand tall
Told me cause some friction
Raise your standards
Make em think, let em know your a force to be reckoned with

Not afraid to be sexy
Firm within my skin
I’m a woman, why be scared to show it?
But always remain a lady
Even when I’m in my sexy

Nothing wrong with rolling some heads
I’ve worked hard for this
It ain’t tricking if you got it
Every woman has it in them
You just have to be bold enough

Falling Back In Love With Me…{NEW POEM August 2016)


abundance

The past two years
Have been such a roller coaster
Prior to that I felt on top of the world
Beginning my journey
Releasing 67 pounds
Feeling at my best self
Empowering on all levels
Feeling fearless
2014 happened…
Life happened

Gaining back 40 pounds was tough
I knew I didn’t want to go backwards
After moving 10 steps forward
In 2014 a friendship of 12+ years began to go left
Took me off the map
But then I met him
He built me up
He believed in me at this time more than myself
The more time we spent
The more I fell

I honestly thought he was the one
I didn’t want to let him go
But what I wanted he wasn’t ready for
But today I no long need that outside validation
Agreement to go separate ways
Hard because he’s familiar to me
Comfort is with him
My heart is partly with him
In my eyes I gave a lot to him
I still love him but not in love with him

I know I deserve more
God created me for more
For a King who gets me
Love on me and love with me
Willing to grow with me
On all levels
Keeps me focused, elevates me and challenges me
For now I’m doing me
To continue to discover me

Every day I’m still learning
I’m most definitely a student to life
But more importantly a student to the most High
I’m comfortable in my skin
I’m comfortable in my purpose
And I’m comfortable with falling back in love with me

To Heal…{New Poem} August 2016


To Heal…

Growing up the pen and paper is where I told my story
It’s my safe haven
It’s my outlet
Nobody can judge me
It’s mine
I never understood how one can treat their own niece differently because she was darker than the other
I was always told the stories
Too young to grasp
Too young to understand
Young and innocent
Yet to this day it stings a bit
I never spoke upon this hurt
Only through my poetry
After that I left it on the paper
Never let it get to the point where I hate her
Forgiveness is key to healing
I gotta let go of this feeling
The past is done
Living in that is not fun
Took me some years to say I’m beautiful
After each rejection between family and crushes
I had to tell me self who the boss is
Now it’s my turn to help those growing through this
Know what your truth is
But forgive
Don’t allow colorism to hold you in bondage
Look in the mirror tell yourself
You love you
You got you
You are beautiful
Hug yourself and love yourself
Confront yourself so that you …
Can heal

SCARS {NEW POEM}….


Scars

It’s been a few years now but the scars still remain
Today thoughts linger
But I can honestly say there’s no anger
Taken advantage of, lies, betrayal, mislead
Yeah I remember
But I refuse for it to hinder
I put trust into all of you
Loved one of you endlessly
Took a chance, got on a plane and fought hard to win your heart
Some reason you couldn’t commit
You were talking about moving up here, going to school and all
Then boom this new chick comes into the picture
Shattered me

You told me I was the only one
Facebook told another story
Three months later I see for myself
Who she was, you was with her and now you got one but two kids with her
I dodged a bullet
Because you put me through it
A blessing in disguise
Now I’m the one winning
I know exactly what I don’t want
I know the signs
I know my heart
I can smell the bullshit
Yeah you had all of it

Baby face, pearly white teeth, six pack and all
But I learned my lesson
Looks don’t mean nothing AT ALL
From these two situations I withdrew from emotions
I stopped doing so much for guys
I let them show me what it is they want
No more words, actions speaks louder
I’m a bit colder once you do me wrong
Lessons I’ve learned is to never live in denial
Always ask questions, be vocal about what you expect and ALWAYS lead by God
I got my heart broken, I’m good now
Cried my tears I just gotta live with a few scars

….this is a poem I wrote TODAY!!!! Raw emotions because yesterday I was listening to Ashanti’s song Scars and it inspired me to create a poem. I’ll post the song so you can listen to the words and relate. It made me think about past situations I’ve been through and how far I’ve come !!!! Life is crazy and it’s okay. God gives the hardest to task to HIS SOLDIERS

Should’ve Known Better…{New Poem}


Should’ve Known Better…

After flying thousands of miles
That didn’t impress you
After you let her call me a “bitch”
I forgave you
History repeats itself
You never fail to shock me
Once again you blew it
Everything you said
Every word, every apology all is in vein
There’s no going back
But what I can say is KARMA
Is surely to get you back
You didn’t realize what you had
So while I head to the top, don’t be sad
You were the one who made this all bad
I’m finally free
No tears
No hard feelings
No last words
Just enjoy watching
At the end you best to believe
You’ll be saying…
Should’ve known better

Love Is Calling Me….{Old Poem}


Love Is Calling Me

It’s been a long adventure to find that one love

The heartbreak will always be a factor

But, you have to set your standards above

Heartbreak is the one thing I can’t handle

My love at this point is unconditional

My love at this point is undeniable

Looking for this love has made my love essential

I feel this tickling feeling every time I think of you

Being with you keeps me on my mind

Only because what we have is hard to find

The little things you say amazes me in the strongest way

When I’ll stop loving you is hard to say

Why can’t my emotions feel that same way?

Is it not right or am I okay?

You say the sweetest things

I don’t want us to change

Damn, don’t I sound lame?

Something is calling

I think I’m falling, falling in love because…

Love is calling me

Cater to You…{Old {Poem}


Cater to You

I want to give the world to you in your hands

Kiss you in places you never been kissed

Look you in your eyes and see your innocence

Sit down let me rub your back

In my arms is where you can relax

Let me hold you in my arms and take the stress away

Whatever you want or whatever you need you’ll receive

If you desire just ask I’ll aspire

I’m yours and I’m here to serve you

If you want it, I got it

Whatever you wish I’ll command

When I look in your eyes I see your strength

Your love so pure

Your heart so tender

Your needs, I’ll care for

No doubt I’ll adore

If you’re hungry I’ll feed you

If you’re tired fall asleep on my chest

Leave your worries up to me

Your body I’ll be glad to caress

All your pain I’ll ease

Your fears I’ll erase

My love you don’t have to chase

This is your day

All the right things I’ll say

Baby I hear you and I’m here to serve you

Everything you’ve ever wanted

I’ll be glad to give

All your wants you’ll receive

Give me your hand

I’ll take you there

We’ll go far away, where no one is

Alone just me and you

Strawberries, cherries and all

Love is what we’ll make

Heat is what we’ll share

Happiness is what I’ll see in your glare

You’re finally home…

Finally I can cater to you!

I Can’t Take No More…{Inspired by Beyonce}


I Can’t Take No More

Inspired By Beyonce “I Can’t Take No More”

It’s really been weighing on me

Tell me what did I do?

When I have nothing to prove

And nothing to lose

Thinking about things been said

While I’m laying down in my bed

Accusations, judgments, comments, smirks that’s coming towards me

Try to dodge ‘em

They follow

The pain, tears, frustration and all its bull

I’m just at the point where I’m tired

I’m starting to hear the shit in my head

It’s only gets louder

Your opinions, thoughts and negativity is meaningless

You don’t know me

You don’t pay my bills

So what does it mean to you to look down on me?

I’m not myself lately

And it’s not in my character for me to feed into you

I’m feeling a lil incomplete

But I won’t lose no sleep

I keep it all in my mind

Cause, inside I know it’s got to get better in time

Why don’t you live your life?

And let me live mine?

You must admire me; spend so much time with me consuming your head

How about you give it rest?

So what you do?

Forget about what you thought you knew

Or you felt was true

Who I am, is who I choose to be

You wish you knew

But, you really have no clue!

The pain, lies, aggravation, disrespect, rumors, judgments and bullshit I put up with

I really don’t have the time

I’m tired of even thinking about it all

Honestly, I can’t take no more