I’ve had a few guys expressing interest in me but in my head I’m just saying “nah, go THAT WAY”. Don’t get me wrong I get lonely at times but I’m not aiming to fill a void. My King will be IT.
Discovery • Establishments • Journey
That’s the wave I’m on, all these visions I’ve had for years in I’m removing fear to pursue, the last guy I tried to share my time with he didn’t come through, not every guy you fall for is meant to catch you. Hard pill to swallow but truth is truth. Being single has allowed me time to go full force face to face with my fears, past and wounds.
The hardest chapter for me was not loving myself and on all levels realizing I not only gained weight to be 300lbs, I also down graded my value to guys who didn’t deserve me and didn’t even know themselves! It’s been a whole lot of crying, forgiving and healing. Being told your whole life you aren’t pretty left some scars because in school that’s where I’d get it the most. I needed to heal from these chapters and relearn myself so that I could fall in love with my NEW self unapologetically.
Some say I’ve changed, I have and it feels damn good. It’s a tough feeling being taken advantage of and being told what to do as if you have no voice! I couldn’t go back to who I was. I wasn’t happy. I might of worn a smile but nothing was authentic ! I finally have a sense of what it feels like to be mentally free and I need MORE. I want to know who I am, emerge myself into who I truly am and live life F R E E full of possibilities. LIMITLESS! That’s what God created for each of us and that’s the life I will lead.
Love, Peace and Honesty !
Dreya the exFATgirl