Untitled {Random Post}…6/15/2017


possibilites

 

I’ve had a few guys expressing interest in me but in my head I’m just saying “nah, go THAT WAY”. Don’t get me wrong I get lonely at times but I’m not aiming to fill a void. My King will be IT. 

Discovery • Establishments • Journey

That’s the wave I’m on, all these visions I’ve had for years in I’m removing fear to pursue, the last guy I tried to share my time with he didn’t come through, not every guy you fall for is meant to catch you. Hard pill to swallow but truth is truth. Being single has allowed me time to go full force face to face with my fears, past and wounds. 

The hardest chapter for me was not loving myself and on all levels realizing I not only gained weight to be 300lbs, I also down graded my value to guys who didn’t deserve me and didn’t even know themselves! It’s been a whole lot of crying, forgiving and healing. Being told your whole life you aren’t pretty left some scars because in school that’s where I’d get it the most. I needed to heal from these chapters and relearn myself so that I could fall in love with my NEW self unapologetically. 

Some say I’ve changed, I have and it feels damn good. It’s a tough feeling being taken advantage of and being told what to do as if you have no voice! I couldn’t go back to who I was. I wasn’t happy. I might of worn a smile but nothing was authentic ! I finally have a sense of what it feels like to be mentally free and I need MORE. I want to know who I am, emerge myself into who I truly am and live life F R E E full of possibilities. LIMITLESS! That’s what God created for each of us and that’s the life I will lead. 

Love, Peace and Honesty ! 

Dreya the exFATgirl 

What is it?…{New Poem}


What is it?

For some reason I’ve slipped 

Away from who I am

Away from my core 

Now I stand 

Pushing 

To gain me back 

Remembering the days 

To myself, working on myself, relentlessly 

In my room giving myself singing classes 

Dancing as if I’m on stage 

The heartbreaks which lead to 

Beautiful pieces of poetry 

Now that’s the core of me 

Which allows me to be set free 

And for more months now that’s all

I’ve asked 

To be set free 

All that’s required of me 

All that I expect out of me

My own standards 

My own dreams 

Those visions 

That’s what I have to level up for

Because I yearn for the MORE 

I’m ready to sore 

I already been down the dark road 

I already felt depression

I already felt being UGLY 

I already felt discrimination 

That’s done 

I’m MORE 

Whatever the block is 

Gots to GO 

I have to ask myself what is it? 

Love, Peace and Honesty,

Dreya ❤

For me {NEW POEM}.


forme

FOR ME 

THE HARDEST part of this journey 

Was forgiving myself for 

Taking on others beliefs 

Of what beauty was

Of dark skin being ugly 

Of myself of being less than

Of not being worthy of MORE

Looking in the mirror at 300 pounds 

I saw disgust 

I saw someone I didn’t know

I saw someone who was hiding 

No longer the one who knew her worth 

Just no clarity 

Heart drowning in pain 

Begging for freedom 

Begging for love 

Begging for redemption 

Stepping on that scale in 2012

She said 300 pounds 

I just went numb 

I cried 

Because this was rock bottom 

College 4 years Visual Communication

Intelligent 

Big heart ❤

I knew this woman I had grown into couldn’t remain

I always wanted to love myself in my skin 

Be someone who took care of herself 

In my presence you felt ME

You felt GOD 

YOU FELT GENUINENESS 

Nothing less than real 

I had to remove those beliefs put on from others

It crippled me 

It crippled my soul 

It brought me to a state of depression twice 

The last one I wanted to fulfill someone else’s dream 

It wasn’t my own 

I have a heart to serve for others 

But on this journey I had to do it FOR ME

This is mine 

I can’t live for anyone else 

I tried and I failed 

I had to pick up the pieces 

Find love within myself 

I knew he couldn’t fulfill what was needed 

Because it was something I had to fulfill within 

Every life I touch 

Every women I can inspire, empower and encourage

Every pound I release just know 

I’m doing it FOR ME 

Love, Peace and Honesty

Dreya ❤