Man oh man it’s been crazy as usual in my world but I’m maintaining. I’m at the beginning stages of my editing process for my book, waiting on material so I can man changes to my manuscript. I actually have to edit the material I’ve chosen to edit, it’s hard to edit my own material though, I will say. BUT I’m ready to get the ball rolling so that I can truly make moves by next year because I know that in order to get where I see my book and myself I have to get to work. So editing this book I plan on finishing up by December then at least by the end of December I want to send my manuscript out to literary editors to rip it apart and tell me what I need to change. It’s going to be my worst nightmare for this book to get edited but I want this book to polished from beginning to end. I want my book to really stand out but not loose sight of what matters to me most is my audience aka my readers. With my book I was willing to air out my own flaws and mistakes to have people know I’ve been in your shoes plus I want to have like open discussions about everything in my book and outside of my book. I know in our society have taboo topics and don’t like to talk about what they have done and own up to what they’ve done ya know? Many people I know wish to move forward in their lives but can’t accept what has happened in the present or past in order to move forward in life overall it’s more than important to make amends with whatever has happened in your past or even currently in your present because the future is unknown. That’s why I have faced my own fears and willing at this time in my life to step outside my comfort zone to advance in life. Sometimes you gotta just own up to shit and open up your mouth to those you have hurt to really be at peace with yourself. Day by day I learn about who I am and where I’m headed in life. No lie in the past 6 months by several people I’ve heard “If anyone is gonna make it within this family, it’s YOU”, “Your meant to be famous”, “Your suppose to be in the lime light” or “You will be famous”…if so I’ll take but I will forever be humble and not forget where I come from and who helped me get to the place God has allowed me to advance too. One thing I’m working on is my relationship with God because I know that my relationship with HIM is where it all begins for everything. My heart has been let down and disappointed so much that my joy comes from GOD so I must do better with reading the bible and getting right spiritually. I have beliefs and I have values so I will always top priority as well as my family and my team (my friends).
So my previous blog was about someone who has made a “come back”…post is named (Love, Love, Love…Love) if you read that it’s about him. If HE and he know who he is lol read that post. But he has distance himself and I’m unsure why but it hurts. I mean at the end of the day he’s where I want to be because you just know when your heart is at peace and when you feel right next to someone and for me that’s him. But I mean things look blurry again which puts me back on the fence because I was cool with us being done, I mean I’ll always have that love for him but him say “I love you, I coming up to see you and I wanna get back with you” was like OKAY, lol. So I’m basically waiting to see if he will stay true to his word or once again let me down. I honestly in my heart want to be like oh yeah he’s coming but things been shaky and when things get shaky it’s rough. I’ll never do anything to disrespect what we have but you telling me you wanna get back and when you get here we will talk about getting back together it hypes me up knowing finally the one I’ve been praying to have next to me, in my world AGAIN and my boo boo has finally seen the light, lol. I have faith so imma just pray for the best because I know what I deserve after everything I’ve been through.
Whatever is meant to will be and I know I have to be patient but I have a hard time being patient. I knowI must work on it no if’s, and’s or but’s about it because being patient gets you places. But when I need confirmation about certain things I truly need them, to know we’re on the same page. So right now I’m rechecking my priorities so that my mind is right. So we’ll see. I WILL BE POSTING ABOUT THE TROY DAVIS SITUATION SOON! I WAS HEATED ABOUT THAT EXECUTION! It’s not a funny situation and I am against the execution thing because honestly it’s not right because too many african american people are being executed when their innocent or weren’t proven GUILTY WITH EVIDENCE TO BACK IT UP! So yes I was in my feelings hard and I will be posting about it. I love you all!
Love, Peace and Honesty!,