Random Thoughts…{8.24.2011}

Hey readers aka my loves,

Lately I’ve been gaining soooo many readers, getting subscribers, comments and a lot of love! I’m thankful for everything! It’s truly unbelievable to see how many people can relate to what I’m going through or what I have already experienced. But I will say that this is exactly what I want and need as far as responses because I am new to this writing thing. I have never had professional writing classes or anything besides english classes in high school and college of course. It’s exciting and I will post more poems to give you guys more to go off on for the book. I don’t want to put out too much because the book will have so much in it poetry wise as well my own thoughts on things I’ve been through and my opinions. I watch those around me and their own experiences as well as my own experiences to come up with poems and thoughts. I have strong opinions especially when it comes to someone I love with all my heart so if I’m passionate about that person or a situation then I just go ahead and write it out on paper. I do use my iphone note pad to write thoughts, quotes and etc. I do have an inspirational board which I use liquid chalk and it look pretty neat on the chalkboard I made with my dad. It keeps me aware of what I’m focused on and where I’m headed. It’s hard to always be so focused so having my board helps. I look at every time I’m in my room.

Tonight I will be updating my manuscript because I think I’m going to make it 11 chapters instead of 12 because I don’t have anymore poems or anything to add at least I don’t think so. Lol I haven’t started editing so we’ll see how many chapters the final 3rd draft will have. I want to do the editing process the old school way 3 drafts and the third be the final version. I would like to have an editing team to help me pull together an amazing book to go towards my direction I want to head in for my book. This book is meant to be a inspirational, motivating and raw cut book. Recently I’ve been trying to face my fears, clean out my conscience (whatever I felt weird about) and just be able to kick out anything I felt that’s holding me back from getting to my full potential. I also try to read the BIBLE once a week so that I can get know GOD personally for myself. Religion to me is a personal thing. I don’t push my religion onto anyone and I keep my religion personal. My relationship with GOD is mine and what HE has for me is for me. So what people feel about me or how I live don’t matter to me because at the end of the day the people I surround myself with keep me in check at all times and I have learned from trial and error. I’m not perfect at all. I have my flaws but at the same time I’m willing to say where I need help and work on my flaws. In GOD’s eyes is my only concern to get right. Knowing my values and morals only I can get right through God’s eyes. Being single helps me work through personal issues and focus more.

I will say a certain someone has came back into my life and I’m not sure where this thing will go. I know that he’s apologized for what he’s done and that I’m just looking at his actions more so his words. Words don’t mean nothing to me anymore because compared to all that I’ve done hmmm don’t come at me wrong. Talk is cheap and anyone can talk. He knows my position with where we stand so I’m taking this thing day by day. No lie my emotions for this person fall back so easy to what it was because when we conversate I feel like it’s old times. But like I said I have to look at his actions rather than his words because my heart at this time is in the right place and it took mea very long time to feel this secure with my heart. When your heart has been done wrong so many times you kinda lose hope and look at LOVE differently. So it’s a learning process most def but I’m hoping he’ll do better this time around because he has said many things in the past he didn’t hold up too and now I’m just watching. I’ll be watching for awhile…




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