Random Thoughts…

I’m in a weird spot right now. I’ve been feeling like I want a boyfriend some days then other days I’m like “ummm no” lol but its like the person I want just not in the same element I am and we on the outs. I’m the relationship kind of the girl but I’ve fell in love twice so the third time I just want it to be right. The right timing, the right person, the right element and friendship I can take to a personal relationship level with. The one thing I want from my next relationship is loyalty. My last relationship it was there. I want it in the next one as well. Along with loyalty I need attention, lol on a daily basis I go through many things and deal with several situations. I’m at a point in my life where I’m trying to enhance my life to support my lifestyle and be more independent as a woman because independence means the world to me. So right now if I meet someone who’s interested in me loyalty, being able to give me attention and flexiable with time because I do have much going on would be my ideal ticket lol. If I come across someone with too much time on they hands then that means they have no money, no motives in life and not productive. If you got money you don’t have time and if you got time then you don’t have money. I know for me it’s important to always be productive, busy and looking for opportunities to become a better person. I’m not waiting for an chance to fall into my lap I’m out here hustling for it because nothing is given to you because best to believe that there are people out here that’s better than you, got more experience than you and willing to do whatever to get their dreams achieved. In order to get to the top in this society you must be hungry, if not then life will leave you in the dust. You’ll be talking about “I should of, could of and would of”…it’s not a good look.

I will be honest that I’m missing someone like mad because I got use to them being in my everyday life and things become easier to decide with that individual in my world. He knows what he means to me but some stuff we just can’t see eye to eye on which sucks because he has a place in my heart, life and overall being because of who he’s become in my life. Mind you he’s younger than I but because I care so much I do dismiss much that he does. I know he has a beautiful heart that I fell in love quick and the rest was history. What people don’t know is that when I feel up against the wall he was there, when I was goin through it with my fam he was there, when my cousin passed away and I couldn’t sleep for a few nights he was there and even now till this day I know if I needed someone to talk to bout something serious that’s bothering me terribly that I can’t sleep or whatever he will listen. Many times people like to take advantage of me and that’s something he doesn’t do. So I just hold that space for him because he is someone that I know as he gets older will be a stronger and wiser man. The relationship that we have is so misunderstood and judged because people try to understand it…I’m telling you don’t try. We got a connection that only him and I get. It’s best it stay that way. I won’t lie I get in my feelings when people try to understand us and I come to his defense because they don’t know him or our situation so how can you speak on the situation that you have no insight on?

I’m not sure what is coming up next in my life but I’m ready for anything. I have no expectations because expectations can make or break a situation. I’m just ready to live. Love is apart of life and if love is in my near future it has to be right. I’m not wiling to go back to that place where its only me trying to make a situation work, crying my heart out to let someone know how much I love them, travel the world to prove myself that I’m down…I want someone to finally come in my life and show me that they are willing to do WHATEVER to receive or be worthy of my love. I believe in old fashion love so my love is real love. Not no puppy love or that short lasting love. I’m a lover who loves hard and I give my all. I’m not as open as I am because I’ve been shot down twice which is okay because my heart is where it use to be but at the same time there are but so many times I can be a fool for love. So this next go around has to be something serious and has to be someone I can say he down for me. Until then….I’m me and I’m working on me ❤

  Love, Peace and Honesty…



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s