Wipe My Tears…[DEEP POEM]

When I was told I was ugly

When I was told I’m fat

When I was told I wouldn’t go far

When he broke my heart by leaving without a word

When he told me he “loves” her intead  of me

When I went into a deep depression

When I thought being dark wasn’t beautiful

When I wanted GOD to take me away

When my aunt passed anf she was my best friend

I shedded tears, body shaking tears

 

My lowest point was my depression

I didn’t embrace who I was

Badly, I wanted to be light skin

I couldn’t understand my purpose

I didn’t know why I am who I am?

I wasn’t pretty to the guys I liked

I couldn’t wear clothing “they” were wearing

I didn’t have long hair with colored eyes

Each tear I shedded is the reason I’m here

 

The tears I’ve cried has made me who I am

Each tears helped make me stronger

Mary J. Blige said it best “stronger with each tear”

I’ve felt so much pain

Emotionally I’ve been drained continuous times

But my emotions I refuse to hide

Releasing how I felt I had too

 

Day by day my anger, hurt and frustration built

Writing it down, crying as each word appeared on paper and allowing my emotions to come alive

I’m strong enough now to tell my disbelievers, haters and blockas

“TAKE ME AS I AM”…

 

Nobody layed with me as I cried myself to sleep

The pain from them saying “you need to lose weight”

Still flashbacks in my head

Nobody held my hand as I held myself

Nights I cried because he wasn’t here with me

I didn’t understand how do you just not tell me anything?

How do you not accept me because I’m darkskin but your grand daughter?

How come you won’t love my dad the way you love your daughter to accept us (his daughters and wife)?

My heart aches everyday

But I keep wiping these tears away

 

When I see girls who are insecure of themselves

When I hear “I wish I was light skin”

When I watch girls skip meals

When I watch girls look into the mirror and see nothing

I see the teenager I use to be

My pirpose is to let you know your not alone

I’ve been in your shoes

Those tears will help mold you into an AMAZING female

Embrace who you are, take your hand or with tissue and wipe those tears

I had to embrace who I was, who I am and all I did was wipe my tears

 

Writing this poem took me down memory lane through all my dark times. I remember my coldest moments, the tears I cried and the coldest words I ever heard. My heart has been shattered countless times and I’ve learned very vaulueable lessons from every word wispered, smirks, harsh acts and pain caused to me. I’m incrediablly stronger than I’ve ever been in my past. I can stand up to anyone tries me and I can voice my opinion stronger than before. I know who I am and I don’t take none of my past experiences for granted. The tears I’ve cried I remember vividly and I can speak from first hand…cry when you HAVE TOO AND NEED TOO. It’s okay, the pain will ease over time and the lessonwill carry farther than you think and know.

Keep your head up<3

 

 

 

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One comment

  1. Devin · November 15, 2010

    Thanks sis…Sometimes I forget its ok to cry…but this poem, I could feel the pain and growth with each word…You are so strong! I love you!

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