8.25.2010

It’s been a rough two months for me. I’ve been extremely busy with school. In between I have work and trying to do freelance work outside of school and working. My heart has been tested yet again with the games of guys and I just been trying to rebuild myself to where I was because my eye still is on the prize regardless of my heartbrakes. I’m not letting anyone take my dreams away blood, sweat or tears I will become the lady I dream because I don’t care about anything else besides achieving my dreams. But I’ve been doing this freelance work doing flyers, business cards, posters and etc. Trying to get experience and getting my name out there takes HARD work. I’m just starting out so I do alot of promoting lol. But yes school has truly been challenging me through the past two terms. In between all of this my family never fails to drive me up a wall! My father’s side especially just makes me sick with the way they think and they’re reasonings are even more out of wack. I just don’t understand it at all. How do you call yourself family? It hurts but hey what can you do? People can get out their ways to even ask “Why did you say that” or “Well how do you feel?” they just jump to assumptions and cater to one side of the story, which just makes me sick! I’m also trying to create a better, stronger and healthier relationship with GOD. My heart just gives up if I don’t have him. He’s the creaot of my life and I want to get back where I should. I know right from wrong so I must go back to the basics to who I am. Caring about those who care about me and loving those who love me back! I’m not with the “LOVE” word being used to just anyone. I can’t love just anyone. My heart has been put through the test way to many times and I’ve fallen to a point where I lost myself and I’ve promised myself to not EVER do that again. I’ve learned from my mistakes. I know what I deserve and settling just won’t happen. I’m in the process of letting things go to LET GOD. I’m learning I can’t control everything and I can’t trust words because words don’t mean anything. Actions mean it all. I’m learning and GOD is working on me. I feel him touching my heart. HE’s REAL….

Sidenote:

BABYGIRL AALIYAH ANNIVERSARY IS TODAY! I’m a huge AALIYAH fan! She was my idol and still is. Her legacy still lives and she’s apart of my reason why I’m fighting to make my dreams my reality. Her legacy speaks volumes to dreams becoming a reality and being genuine about what you do. I’m at a point in my life I don’t want to anything not dealing with my passions. I’m tired of retail and I’m bored. I know what I love and that’s what means the most to me. SO I’m strieving hard to make my dreams mine. Aaliyah impacted my life hard because before she died I got into her music heavy and I had got her new album, singing her sings daily perfecting my vocals and trying to just take my vocals to another level.She’s truly missed. I love her! R.I.P!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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