Recently I lost my cousin whom I was close to and I’m hurting inside because her presence is no longer with us to talk, touch, hug, see or speak too. But this is not our home. This thing called life is temporary. We all will one day die and we fail to get caught up in the hype of “LIFE” we  forget about that. I’ve been going crazy because of school and work. I have standards for myself and where I want to be in this life, I have dreams so its just embedded in my system I must get there because if I can dream it, I can achieve it! My family means the world to me because at the end of the day their the ones who know me best, take care of me and there for me regardless wrong or right, tears, sweat or blood. I’m older now so situations which have occured prior in my life I’ve evaluated and let it go. I’m hard on myself as well so I always worry about not getting where I want, no doing as well or not being successful.

I want to be close to any of the family over the past years have fallen apart from because of family drama or issues. Because we are blood. But sometimes when people are set in their ways, can they change? will they change? do I mean enough to them to change? Do they truly love me? Questions always flow through my head because their actions don’t add up to their words. But when I think about it somebody has to start somewhere to make a change happen. The hurt that’s been caused and the way I see them treat each other hurts me. But I’m saying now in 2010 I want to make a change to keep my family together. Especially my generation, the older ones won’t grasp it as quick as us but at the end the deed is meant for a good cause. My heart is weak but my family makes it strong.

I have to remember I can’t control everything that crosses my path. What I do know is my dreams, my passions and love is what I’m most passionate about. I know that pain is apart of learning, its apart of love to build a strong relationship and I know that people make mistakes. I’m writing my thoughts because this is what’s going on with me. My cousins death was sudden and got me thinking about my own life. I’m putting this all in GOD’D HANDS. Faith without work is POINTLESS, that’s why I’m working so hard to advance my life, for those who ask me that question, I’m answering it! I will succeed in whatever I choose and I’m claiming it! Love, Peace and Honesty!



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