HAPPY NOW YEARRRRR 2017!!!!! {1st post of 2017}….


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HAPPY NOW YEARRRRRR it is 2017!!!! My goodness has time flied!!!!

 

Dear readers aka my loves,

So in 2017 I’ve declared to get back to all things I love and to get back to being centered. Paying attention to my feelings and do things that makes me feel good, stretches me and places me at the next level I desire. Life is so short and we have to take the leaps of faith that will bring us closer to our true purpose here on earth. Living outside of my comfort zone is a common theme to gain the redemption I’m coming for in 2017. There is no success living within our comfort zones. So getting out and doing things that scare the crap out of me like speaking to total strangers and showing them what has changed my life but a major blessing to pull me closer to my true self. I’ve been able to discover more and more with time who I am at my core.

Coming into 2017 I did 50 miles, I let go of some past chapters that I felt in my heart was truly holding me back and instantly felt a relief. But I am ready to step into what God has for me and my family. I know I’ve been chosen and I have to take that on full force this year ready or not. We will see what the year has in stores for Dre Dre….

Love, Peace and Honesty,

Dreya the exFATgirl

No turning back {Poem}…Reflecting


At a young age I knew pain
At a young age I felt ashamed
I looked in the mirror
I didn’t see DIVA
I saw big, dark and ugly
There’s no explaining how I felt
I couldn’t accept myself
Tears falling down of the heartache inside
Each night wanting to hide
Not knowing the true beauty I held

You search to find stability from him
But you don’t need validation from them
God gave you validation
Hold your head high
Smile as you look to the sky
Pick your soul up from Gods grace
My long awaited soul search taught me
How all I need is me
After 10 years I finally know me
I finally feel free

I’ve embraced my curves
From my thick thighs, beautiful smile and my Diva swag
Rocking my Michael Kors bag
I got my dreams, my goals and MY GOD
He’s gon take me there
I don’t depend on others to hand me my dreams
God given talents leads God given dreams
My strive, encourages my drive
I’m walking through darkness
Ultimately I will shine

There’s many watching me to fall
Not wanting me to succeed at all
I can’t be who they want me to be
All I care about is the Lord up above and ME
Fear. Tears. Scared.
I will get through it
Learn from my past, work through my present and run to my future
Who can be against me if God is for me?
No weapons formed against me shall prosper
To that I say there’s no turning back

Healing is a process …{November 3,2016} RANDOM THOUGHTS


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Hey loves (my readers),

For me the last few weeks have been full of healing, centering, refocusing and growing. I’ve decided to take a look back into my past on a deeper level to figure out why I am the way I am, close chapters and to begin celebrating myself. No longer living through others validation, opinions and just loving myself to gain who I am really supposed to be. It wasn’t until the middle of my #90daysoflovingdreya I began listening to Lisa Nichols and she told how she went through a process of healing plus celebrating herself. Recently I was told I don’t celebrate myself enough and I wasn’t sure how to go about this celebrating myself. I also knew I needed to go within my heart and see what’s going on. I’m considering extending this journey of loving myself deeper.

I’ve began writing again yes and it feels good to do it again apart of my flow during my evening wind down and ease my mind. I’ve been taking a look at meditating as well. Different ways to heal, ease my mind, thoughts and also listen/hear God. It’s important to be still with no distractions when your in a space which I’m in. So I’m soaking up the moments I do get alone and finding more time to be alone. I am grateful for those moments for sure, I’m pouring back into my cup and venting. I do things different and I have to be okay with that. Who I am is different from someone else but it’s been a damn good journey so far so I’ll keep doing what I’m doing.

HEAL * GROW * DEVELOP * that’s the flow I am in and I am for awhile to fully be who I am suppose to be without anyone else approval but my own. I’ve realized for a long time after 2013 until now I’ve been looking for validation for certain things when I only need mine when it comes to ME. So I am enjoying this flow I am in. I have to get back to me and the core of who I am and living in that daily, without anyone dictating anything. It feels good. I had to come share from my heart. This is my element. ❤

Love, Peace and Honesty,

Dreya ❤

Stronger Than That…{NEW POEM}


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Stronger Than That…

It’s been a weight on me ever since I decided to let go

Some days I’m good

Other days I’m in need of you

Sometimes it’s days consistently 

Keeps me torn

The first heartbreak didn’t see coming 

Second one I got burnt 

Third time I just got sick of it

No commitment

Why am I in this?

That’s what I ask

You were there during rough times 

Your belief in me was stronger than mine

But now it’s time I get back to mine 

Building my belief 

Building back my momentum 

No half stepping bullshit

It’s not cutting it 

Physically I’m not around you

Mentally your still in my system 

But I gotta get rid of you

It’s almost like a drug 

But my heart been through enough 

I know I am enough, more than enough 

To get what I deserve 

I’m not her anymore 

She doesn’t need another persons validation 

All she need is her own 

With the guidance of God

You played with my emotions 

You played with my heart 

I’m not about that life 

Never was and never will believe 

The shit you’ve done 

I’m stronger than that

Love, Peace and Honesty,

Dreya

Ambition …{Random Post} 9-25-16


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Ambition…

In this moment I’m reminded why I started

Wale released the album “Ambition”… 

2011

A year I graduated from college 

But felt like I had the biggest setback 

A dead end job hunt …

Questioned my purpose in life 

What direction was I going in

How would I step into the woman God needed me to be 

I always knew more was and is still in me 

The potential I know I have 

I just won’t let up on 

I was working at Wegmans 

Between Ambition by Wale and Beyoncé “I Was Here” 

I replayed both songs every day 

I wanted out 

Terrified because people told me Wegmans was it for me 

Plus I was in the mist of my weight loss journey 

The hurt from not finding a job

The hurt from a friendship that was dead to me gone wrong 

The hurt from B hurting me 

I became numb 

I lost myself in my workouts 

I tired myself out because that’s where I felt at my best 

But listening to those two songs kept me focused 

How I would get out from Wegmans 

How would I lose the weight 

How how how 

It just took a tole 

So when I hear those songs 

When I read my old poems from this time frame 

I just freeze 

I’ve grown so much from then 

Those who did hurt me, really didn’t deserve me 

They served their purpose 

Made me better for my true purpose 

My ambition is untouchable 

I refuse to let it slip away and just allow my dreams just be dreams 

It weighs heavy on my heart 

Not to be all I can and meant to be 

My dreams are massive 

Day by day I’m working on making my GRIND congruent to my dreams 

The tears I cry right now …

At this moment 

Mixture of happiness 

Growth 

Calling to help move forward 

Calling to help become better 

Calling to strengthen myself 

Help shed the old to create new 

Comes from my heart 

Love, Peace and Honesty,

Dreya the exFATgirl

Random Post…{September 5th,2016}


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2012…yeah that was me. The year I fell into depression after a year and change graduating from college and not working in my field. Was promised this 6 Figure job by Westwood College, never happened. Ended up working at Wegmans 7 years but I’m grateful because the depression lead me to finding my voice furthermore with my poetry. I learned that I lost confidence, I wanted love from someone who didn’t love themselves or know themselves plus wasn’t for me. This moment in time I fed the void of feeling empty with food. Empty because I wanted to be working fill time doing something I loved, I wanted to independence and I would be compared to friends and I felt less than. Wasn’t sure of my purpose at this time, everyone told me to be grateful for this “job”…I wanted more. It wasn’t until I met Cristi Burnham where I felt understood. This was a rough time in my life and I was distant from everyone …I was hiding from the world. I wasn’t happy with me. I truly was just existing in life instead of living in my full purpose and potential.

You don’t know what you don’t know, I had to be alone to figure myself out. You have no idea hat the truth is until have that time ❤️ it was a hard pill to swallow graduating and watching your friends go straight into their field of study and you have to work at a dead end job just to “tolerate”. It doesn’t feel good and I got sick and tired of tolerating a job for money. I quickly got tired of the paycheck to paycheck life and I knew I wanted more ! Everyone around me was stagnant and that was it for them. I know then and now there is more for me. It’s up to me to go get it. Nobody will go get what God has for me. I’m grateful for the talents God has gave me and this beautiful blessing called Herbalife. I GET to be me, flow and prosper. Life is what you make it, we only get ONE. Why not make it the best? Be blessed.

Love, Peace & Honesty

Your future favorite health coach,

Dreya the exFATgirl

NEW POEM …{August 27,16}


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Masking how I feel
I can’t deal
Building a business
Mental game gotta be strong
But for so long that’s all I’ve been
Strong …

Not having moments to be weak
To be vulnerable
To release
To heal
To accept that I love you
Even when I told myself not too

That’s the shit that burns the most
Because your not here to feel this hurt
Knowing I promised myself
I wasn’t gonna fall again
Until my King would catch me
Because for so long it’s just been me

Loving hard
Caring hard
Supporting hard
All I know is to go hard
Give 100 of myself, or nothing at all
But I have yet to do that for me

Theres no apology that can seal this
It’s as real as it gets
Just forgive and move on
I let you go so many times
Letting you back in because I feel comfort
I knew I had to let you go
Doing it once again hurt me so

I want you to feel my heart
I want you to feel the pain
I want you to feel the disappointment
But I know this too shall pass
This is for a moment
You know I bounce back

I still pray for you
As I pray for myself
My worth you couldn’t see
So I had to choose me
Even crying as I decided too
Just know I love you

Whether you realize how real it was
Whether you realize you had a good thing
Whether you realize you had my heart
Or not thank you for being a mistake
A mistake I had to grow from
A mistake that’ll make me a new

Bold Enough…{New Poem}


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Bold Enough…

I love who I’m growing into
Still building up my confidence
Now I’m more confident to be comfortable in my skin
I can smile
And it’s genuine

I see myself solid
Standing tall
A powerful presence
Humble still with a heart of gold
But bold enough to know

I’m chosen
My God told me to stand tall
Told me cause some friction
Raise your standards
Make em think, let em know your a force to be reckoned with

Not afraid to be sexy
Firm within my skin
I’m a woman, why be scared to show it?
But always remain a lady
Even when I’m in my sexy

Nothing wrong with rolling some heads
I’ve worked hard for this
It ain’t tricking if you got it
Every woman has it in them
You just have to be bold enough

August 14th, 2016 …{Random Post…}


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Hey my loves,

Ahhhh I’m back again. Sooner than later this time, lol. Crazy busy weekend. My nerves are going crazy a bit right now though. A million things crossing it so I said why not blog about what’s on my mind. First off, I’m currently fighting to find consistency in this crazy schedule of mine and in the process of building a empire that I’m aiming to have 7 streams of income. Right now to me I just need to build my way back up to working out 6 times a week, so start with 3 times a week. Seems low to me but I need to start with three times a week and aim for 2 out of those 3 to be 2 a days. My work outs have been ways inconsistent. So I’m stressed about that and I haven’t been into the gym in months I don’t think. So I have to find my way there, I use to work out daily. I can’t live in the past and it’s time to up my results and this body. I want to finish out this road to 200 pounds within this #90Daysoflovingdreya which began August 1st,2016 plus I began the 21 day cleanse from Herbalife.

Consistency is the key to everything so some way I have to find it again and my flow within that so I can get my dream body popping. One other thing is just fulfilling all I’ve declared for this month, I’ve been in my head some days and then last week I began to feel sick so I was like great. I completely want to just start over. I’ve realized a great deal of weight already but I just want my 200 pounds so I can be happy, lol. Hitting 200 pounds mean I’d officially be 100 pounds down from 300 pounds. I don’t know anyone that’s released 100 pounds so I want to be that person. There’s such pride behind that even though I feel like 88pounds is a lot too but there’s more to be released. I just have to be consistent with it.

 

Reintroducing my brand is on my mind as well. New body, new mindset and new everything with a new platform to make bigger and better moves. I have 17 days to release 10 pounds and then accomplish gaining new clients as well. Busy week ahead of me as usual. But I know I’m in a need of MORE and also expanding because I feel like I’ll go crazy but I need to find consistency to gain that MORE that I’ve been feening for. Everything I’ve been praying for is here, I just have to manage myself ALOT better and the energy needed to handle it all. ❤

Love, Peace and Honesty,

Dreya the exFATgirl

Random Thoughts…It’s been awhile {August 10,2016}


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Hey my loves (my readers),

It’s been awhile since I’ve just hopped on and said what’s on my heart so tonight it’s one of those post. So many people have recently poured into me, different thoughts have crossed my head and old memories have had me in tears. Right now I’m asking myself, how did you get to this point?

Anyone who knows me, know writing is what I do and I have a good play on words. Poetry, that’s my thang, lol. SO why haven’t I written in so long? Why do people have to tell me to get back to it? Honestly I have no idea why but that I do know that it’s apart of me that I’ve neglected and I can feel it. It’s still odd to do because I’ve been gone for so long but that’s why I’ve decided to post more often. 4 times a week to get back into this flow. Regardless of time just flow. If I don’t, it won’t be me.

The anxiety over the course of these last few years came about after I stopped writing, as a result my hair have broken off and it hurts more than I portray because I know I have a hand in this. My hair shouldn’t have paid the cost of the fears, confusion and hurt that’s inside. Somehow over time I’ve been holding everything inside and it has caused me to get to this point. The point where stress and fear have almost become my god. Plus physically paralyzing me so I have to find ways to break this because I know this is not me.

I’ve been in my own world. I don’t have much time for Shadreya and I’m beginning to go crazy in a sense because I can’t think or breathe. I’m always doing something for someone else but myself. I work with my grandmother daily and then I go straight into coach mode. So I’m working on finding my “me” time with building the massive empire I’ve envisioned for several years. I found comfort in Derrick these last two years. He was a huge part of my decision making in 2015 because I had so much going on around me, it was just chaos after chaos no normality to my life and I wasn’t home which made it 20x harder. So he became a part of me to help me escape everything going on. The crazy thing is he would notice, I wasn’t picking my hair around him. He played apart of my happiness and he meant more than I knew at the time.

Letting him go has been bittersweet because like I said he’s a comfort zone for me, I got into a routine with him and that’s no longer there, so that makes it bitter but it’s sweet because I know who I am without him. He helped me build my belief within myself because on my worst days he told me I was beautiful and we had one on one talks a lot, lol. So no longer needing that validation is sweet. I’ve always known who I was but never vocal about it, I just carried it within. In the past people down talked me within my family and a few randoms who didn’t really know me but I knew who I was regardless.

I’m at the point where I just want more out of LIFE, out of MYSELF, out of my PURPOSE and create the freedom I’m supposed to have building a life with the King God see fit for me. My healthy active lifestyle has brought so much into my life. I’m beyond grateful, what’s meant to be will be and who is meant to be in my life will remain. I’m trusting God’s vision for my life. Sometimes we just have to be broken down to built back up and grow into the next levels God envisions.

Love, Peace and Honesty,

Dreya