Untitled {Random Post}…6/15/2017


possibilites

 

I’ve had a few guys expressing interest in me but in my head I’m just saying “nah, go THAT WAY”. Don’t get me wrong I get lonely at times but I’m not aiming to fill a void. My King will be IT. 

Discovery • Establishments • Journey

That’s the wave I’m on, all these visions I’ve had for years in I’m removing fear to pursue, the last guy I tried to share my time with he didn’t come through, not every guy you fall for is meant to catch you. Hard pill to swallow but truth is truth. Being single has allowed me time to go full force face to face with my fears, past and wounds. 

The hardest chapter for me was not loving myself and on all levels realizing I not only gained weight to be 300lbs, I also down graded my value to guys who didn’t deserve me and didn’t even know themselves! It’s been a whole lot of crying, forgiving and healing. Being told your whole life you aren’t pretty left some scars because in school that’s where I’d get it the most. I needed to heal from these chapters and relearn myself so that I could fall in love with my NEW self unapologetically. 

Some say I’ve changed, I have and it feels damn good. It’s a tough feeling being taken advantage of and being told what to do as if you have no voice! I couldn’t go back to who I was. I wasn’t happy. I might of worn a smile but nothing was authentic ! I finally have a sense of what it feels like to be mentally free and I need MORE. I want to know who I am, emerge myself into who I truly am and live life F R E E full of possibilities. LIMITLESS! That’s what God created for each of us and that’s the life I will lead. 

Love, Peace and Honesty ! 

Dreya the exFATgirl 

What is it?…{New Poem}


What is it?

For some reason I’ve slipped 

Away from who I am

Away from my core 

Now I stand 

Pushing 

To gain me back 

Remembering the days 

To myself, working on myself, relentlessly 

In my room giving myself singing classes 

Dancing as if I’m on stage 

The heartbreaks which lead to 

Beautiful pieces of poetry 

Now that’s the core of me 

Which allows me to be set free 

And for more months now that’s all

I’ve asked 

To be set free 

All that’s required of me 

All that I expect out of me

My own standards 

My own dreams 

Those visions 

That’s what I have to level up for

Because I yearn for the MORE 

I’m ready to sore 

I already been down the dark road 

I already felt depression

I already felt being UGLY 

I already felt discrimination 

That’s done 

I’m MORE 

Whatever the block is 

Gots to GO 

I have to ask myself what is it? 

Love, Peace and Honesty,

Dreya ❤

For me {NEW POEM}.


forme

FOR ME 

THE HARDEST part of this journey 

Was forgiving myself for 

Taking on others beliefs 

Of what beauty was

Of dark skin being ugly 

Of myself of being less than

Of not being worthy of MORE

Looking in the mirror at 300 pounds 

I saw disgust 

I saw someone I didn’t know

I saw someone who was hiding 

No longer the one who knew her worth 

Just no clarity 

Heart drowning in pain 

Begging for freedom 

Begging for love 

Begging for redemption 

Stepping on that scale in 2012

She said 300 pounds 

I just went numb 

I cried 

Because this was rock bottom 

College 4 years Visual Communication

Intelligent 

Big heart ❤

I knew this woman I had grown into couldn’t remain

I always wanted to love myself in my skin 

Be someone who took care of herself 

In my presence you felt ME

You felt GOD 

YOU FELT GENUINENESS 

Nothing less than real 

I had to remove those beliefs put on from others

It crippled me 

It crippled my soul 

It brought me to a state of depression twice 

The last one I wanted to fulfill someone else’s dream 

It wasn’t my own 

I have a heart to serve for others 

But on this journey I had to do it FOR ME

This is mine 

I can’t live for anyone else 

I tried and I failed 

I had to pick up the pieces 

Find love within myself 

I knew he couldn’t fulfill what was needed 

Because it was something I had to fulfill within 

Every life I touch 

Every women I can inspire, empower and encourage

Every pound I release just know 

I’m doing it FOR ME 

Love, Peace and Honesty

Dreya ❤

Limitless.


filepicker-EMADv4TRB26cYmN3gyg7_flow

Hey loves aka my readers,

I’ve had a few guys expressing interest in me but in my head I’m just saying “nah, go THAT WAY”. Don’t get me wrong I get lonely at times but I’m not aiming to fill a void. My King will be IT. 

Discovery • Establishments • Journey

That’s the wave I’m on, all these visions I’ve had for years in I’m removing fear to pursue, the last guy I tried to share my time with he didn’t come through, not every guy you fall for is meant to catch you. Hard pill to swallow but truth is truth. Being single has allowed me time to go full force face to face with my fears, past and wounds. 

The hardest chapter for me was not loving myself and on all levels realizing I not only gained weight to be 300lbs, I also down graded my value to guys who did t deserve me and didn’t even know themselves! It’s been a whole lot of crying, forgiving and healing. Being told your whole life you aren’t pretty left some scars because in school that’s where I’d get it the most. I needed to heal from these chapters and relearn myself so that I could fall in love with my NEW self unapologetically. 

Some say I’ve changed, I have and it feels damn good. It’s a tough feeling being taken advantage of and being told what to do as if you have no voice! I couldn’t go back to who I was. I wasn’t happy. I might of worn a smile but nothing was authentic ! I finally have a sense of what it feels like to be mentally free and I need MORE. I want to know who I am, emerge myself into who I truly am and live life F R E E full of possibilities. LIMITLESS! That’s what God created for each of us and that’s the life I will lead. 

Love, Peace and Honesty ! 

Dreya the exFATgirl 

Unapologetically. {Random Post 5/16/2017}


My heart beat is getting faster and faster…
The woman I’ve always dreamt of becoming is that much closer. I’ve never been there before so it’s scary. I didn’t think it was possible to become her, powerful in her skin, do things unapologetically and be loved for who I am. Not giving a damn of what anyone thinks. I’ve always viewed women’s bodies as art and never feeling comfortable with hiding my sensual side. Always feeling empowered to live out that part of a woman that we have. 

To expose myself, to love myself and step into myself unapologetically is the space I’m in. I don’t feel like I have to filter myself because of others thoughts or who may not like it. I’m a grown woman. I’ve been raised properly and know myself now where I don’t have to live in a box that society places on black women as a hold. I love empowering women but in my heart I feel like black women are the most slept on. We get the most slack and we have to work 10 times harder to prove we deserve the best too. 

My heart can’t live in this limited lifestyle too much longer. Paycheck to paycheck life…I’ve been scared to expand and jump for the last year or so. I know expanding and taking these leaps will expand my vision and life. I’m learning to trust myself and allow God to move even without the approval of others which can be scary at times. The spirit of God that’s within me I need to guide me so that I feel secure. The lifestyle I desire no one I know is living it and many believe only celebrities can live it. I feel empowered to go for the lifestyle of greatness and unlimited possibilities on all levels of life ❤

Unapologetically Dreya is here and I’m trusting the process as I grow. With or without approval I’m now giving notice. I am who I am 💫

Love, Peace and Honesty,

Dreya

REDEMPTION …{3/17/17}


FullSizeRender-6With my whole heart ❤ 

I now understand why I had to grow through all that I did 

Even though it hurt deeply 

It caused deep wounds 

It paralyzed me for years 

It made me dislike people 

It made me believe things 

But once I understand the power of FORGIVENESS 

Not for them but for ME

Everything has changed 

Stepped into 2017 a whole new me

God saw it all

Guided my steps 

Took away the tears

Withdraw the fears 

Now action cures fear 

I can feel my REDEMPTION 

Is near

VENT…{March 10,2017}


bold

Something’s on my mind 

You see

From day one 

It’s been you and me 

I remember talking to you about LIFE 

Sex

Dreams

Aspirations 

Hurt 

It all

June 2012

I said a prayer 

Show me a path

To get this weight off

If you showed me a path

I’d keep it off

4 years in 

Now 88 down

I proudly wear this crown

Introducing this to me 

Has revealed a NEW ME 

I understand how unconditional LOVE IS 

Especially SELF LOVE 

In this space 

More than ever I know your within me 

That God is in me

Me and the spirit as one 

It’s aligning 

Things are beginning to unfold 

As the lies are unlearned 

Truth will be told 

So grateful 

That this crown 👑 

I’ve put on

Changed my whole mentality 

Just knowing what I am 

And how powerful I am

What they use against me 

NOW MAKES ME 

Come for me if you want too

Nobody can break me 

They already tried to shake me 

Nobody can take me down 

It’s God IN ME

HAPPY NOW YEARRRRR 2017!!!!! {1st post of 2017}….


comfortzone

HAPPY NOW YEARRRRRR it is 2017!!!! My goodness has time flied!!!!

 

Dear readers aka my loves,

So in 2017 I’ve declared to get back to all things I love and to get back to being centered. Paying attention to my feelings and do things that makes me feel good, stretches me and places me at the next level I desire. Life is so short and we have to take the leaps of faith that will bring us closer to our true purpose here on earth. Living outside of my comfort zone is a common theme to gain the redemption I’m coming for in 2017. There is no success living within our comfort zones. So getting out and doing things that scare the crap out of me like speaking to total strangers and showing them what has changed my life but a major blessing to pull me closer to my true self. I’ve been able to discover more and more with time who I am at my core.

Coming into 2017 I did 50 miles, I let go of some past chapters that I felt in my heart was truly holding me back and instantly felt a relief. But I am ready to step into what God has for me and my family. I know I’ve been chosen and I have to take that on full force this year ready or not. We will see what the year has in stores for Dre Dre….

Love, Peace and Honesty,

Dreya the exFATgirl

No turning back {Poem}…Reflecting


At a young age I knew pain
At a young age I felt ashamed
I looked in the mirror
I didn’t see DIVA
I saw big, dark and ugly
There’s no explaining how I felt
I couldn’t accept myself
Tears falling down of the heartache inside
Each night wanting to hide
Not knowing the true beauty I held

You search to find stability from him
But you don’t need validation from them
God gave you validation
Hold your head high
Smile as you look to the sky
Pick your soul up from Gods grace
My long awaited soul search taught me
How all I need is me
After 10 years I finally know me
I finally feel free

I’ve embraced my curves
From my thick thighs, beautiful smile and my Diva swag
Rocking my Michael Kors bag
I got my dreams, my goals and MY GOD
He’s gon take me there
I don’t depend on others to hand me my dreams
God given talents leads God given dreams
My strive, encourages my drive
I’m walking through darkness
Ultimately I will shine

There’s many watching me to fall
Not wanting me to succeed at all
I can’t be who they want me to be
All I care about is the Lord up above and ME
Fear. Tears. Scared.
I will get through it
Learn from my past, work through my present and run to my future
Who can be against me if God is for me?
No weapons formed against me shall prosper
To that I say there’s no turning back

Healing is a process …{November 3,2016} RANDOM THOUGHTS


fullsizerender

Hey loves (my readers),

For me the last few weeks have been full of healing, centering, refocusing and growing. I’ve decided to take a look back into my past on a deeper level to figure out why I am the way I am, close chapters and to begin celebrating myself. No longer living through others validation, opinions and just loving myself to gain who I am really supposed to be. It wasn’t until the middle of my #90daysoflovingdreya I began listening to Lisa Nichols and she told how she went through a process of healing plus celebrating herself. Recently I was told I don’t celebrate myself enough and I wasn’t sure how to go about this celebrating myself. I also knew I needed to go within my heart and see what’s going on. I’m considering extending this journey of loving myself deeper.

I’ve began writing again yes and it feels good to do it again apart of my flow during my evening wind down and ease my mind. I’ve been taking a look at meditating as well. Different ways to heal, ease my mind, thoughts and also listen/hear God. It’s important to be still with no distractions when your in a space which I’m in. So I’m soaking up the moments I do get alone and finding more time to be alone. I am grateful for those moments for sure, I’m pouring back into my cup and venting. I do things different and I have to be okay with that. Who I am is different from someone else but it’s been a damn good journey so far so I’ll keep doing what I’m doing.

HEAL * GROW * DEVELOP * that’s the flow I am in and I am for awhile to fully be who I am suppose to be without anyone else approval but my own. I’ve realized for a long time after 2013 until now I’ve been looking for validation for certain things when I only need mine when it comes to ME. So I am enjoying this flow I am in. I have to get back to me and the core of who I am and living in that daily, without anyone dictating anything. It feels good. I had to come share from my heart. This is my element. ❤

Love, Peace and Honesty,

Dreya ❤