REDEMPTION …{3/17/17}


FullSizeRender-6With my whole heart ❤ 

I now understand why I had to grow through all that I did 

Even though it hurt deeply 

It caused deep wounds 

It paralyzed me for years 

It made me dislike people 

It made me believe things 

But once I understand the power of FORGIVENESS 

Not for them but for ME

Everything has changed 

Stepped into 2017 a whole new me

God saw it all

Guided my steps 

Took away the tears

Withdraw the fears 

Now action cures fear 

I can feel my REDEMPTION 

Is near

VENT…{March 10,2017}


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Something’s on my mind 

You see

From day one 

It’s been you and me 

I remember talking to you about LIFE 

Sex

Dreams

Aspirations 

Hurt 

It all

June 2012

I said a prayer 

Show me a path

To get this weight off

If you showed me a path

I’d keep it off

4 years in 

Now 88 down

I proudly wear this crown

Introducing this to me 

Has revealed a NEW ME 

I understand how unconditional LOVE IS 

Especially SELF LOVE 

In this space 

More than ever I know your within me 

That God is in me

Me and the spirit as one 

It’s aligning 

Things are beginning to unfold 

As the lies are unlearned 

Truth will be told 

So grateful 

That this crown 👑 

I’ve put on

Changed my whole mentality 

Just knowing what I am 

And how powerful I am

What they use against me 

NOW MAKES ME 

Come for me if you want too

Nobody can break me 

They already tried to shake me 

Nobody can take me down 

It’s God IN ME

HAPPY NOW YEARRRRR 2017!!!!! {1st post of 2017}….


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HAPPY NOW YEARRRRRR it is 2017!!!! My goodness has time flied!!!!

 

Dear readers aka my loves,

So in 2017 I’ve declared to get back to all things I love and to get back to being centered. Paying attention to my feelings and do things that makes me feel good, stretches me and places me at the next level I desire. Life is so short and we have to take the leaps of faith that will bring us closer to our true purpose here on earth. Living outside of my comfort zone is a common theme to gain the redemption I’m coming for in 2017. There is no success living within our comfort zones. So getting out and doing things that scare the crap out of me like speaking to total strangers and showing them what has changed my life but a major blessing to pull me closer to my true self. I’ve been able to discover more and more with time who I am at my core.

Coming into 2017 I did 50 miles, I let go of some past chapters that I felt in my heart was truly holding me back and instantly felt a relief. But I am ready to step into what God has for me and my family. I know I’ve been chosen and I have to take that on full force this year ready or not. We will see what the year has in stores for Dre Dre….

Love, Peace and Honesty,

Dreya the exFATgirl

No turning back {Poem}…Reflecting


At a young age I knew pain
At a young age I felt ashamed
I looked in the mirror
I didn’t see DIVA
I saw big, dark and ugly
There’s no explaining how I felt
I couldn’t accept myself
Tears falling down of the heartache inside
Each night wanting to hide
Not knowing the true beauty I held

You search to find stability from him
But you don’t need validation from them
God gave you validation
Hold your head high
Smile as you look to the sky
Pick your soul up from Gods grace
My long awaited soul search taught me
How all I need is me
After 10 years I finally know me
I finally feel free

I’ve embraced my curves
From my thick thighs, beautiful smile and my Diva swag
Rocking my Michael Kors bag
I got my dreams, my goals and MY GOD
He’s gon take me there
I don’t depend on others to hand me my dreams
God given talents leads God given dreams
My strive, encourages my drive
I’m walking through darkness
Ultimately I will shine

There’s many watching me to fall
Not wanting me to succeed at all
I can’t be who they want me to be
All I care about is the Lord up above and ME
Fear. Tears. Scared.
I will get through it
Learn from my past, work through my present and run to my future
Who can be against me if God is for me?
No weapons formed against me shall prosper
To that I say there’s no turning back

Healing is a process …{November 3,2016} RANDOM THOUGHTS


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Hey loves (my readers),

For me the last few weeks have been full of healing, centering, refocusing and growing. I’ve decided to take a look back into my past on a deeper level to figure out why I am the way I am, close chapters and to begin celebrating myself. No longer living through others validation, opinions and just loving myself to gain who I am really supposed to be. It wasn’t until the middle of my #90daysoflovingdreya I began listening to Lisa Nichols and she told how she went through a process of healing plus celebrating herself. Recently I was told I don’t celebrate myself enough and I wasn’t sure how to go about this celebrating myself. I also knew I needed to go within my heart and see what’s going on. I’m considering extending this journey of loving myself deeper.

I’ve began writing again yes and it feels good to do it again apart of my flow during my evening wind down and ease my mind. I’ve been taking a look at meditating as well. Different ways to heal, ease my mind, thoughts and also listen/hear God. It’s important to be still with no distractions when your in a space which I’m in. So I’m soaking up the moments I do get alone and finding more time to be alone. I am grateful for those moments for sure, I’m pouring back into my cup and venting. I do things different and I have to be okay with that. Who I am is different from someone else but it’s been a damn good journey so far so I’ll keep doing what I’m doing.

HEAL * GROW * DEVELOP * that’s the flow I am in and I am for awhile to fully be who I am suppose to be without anyone else approval but my own. I’ve realized for a long time after 2013 until now I’ve been looking for validation for certain things when I only need mine when it comes to ME. So I am enjoying this flow I am in. I have to get back to me and the core of who I am and living in that daily, without anyone dictating anything. It feels good. I had to come share from my heart. This is my element. ❤

Love, Peace and Honesty,

Dreya ❤

Stronger Than That…{NEW POEM}


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Stronger Than That…

It’s been a weight on me ever since I decided to let go

Some days I’m good

Other days I’m in need of you

Sometimes it’s days consistently 

Keeps me torn

The first heartbreak didn’t see coming 

Second one I got burnt 

Third time I just got sick of it

No commitment

Why am I in this?

That’s what I ask

You were there during rough times 

Your belief in me was stronger than mine

But now it’s time I get back to mine 

Building my belief 

Building back my momentum 

No half stepping bullshit

It’s not cutting it 

Physically I’m not around you

Mentally your still in my system 

But I gotta get rid of you

It’s almost like a drug 

But my heart been through enough 

I know I am enough, more than enough 

To get what I deserve 

I’m not her anymore 

She doesn’t need another persons validation 

All she need is her own 

With the guidance of God

You played with my emotions 

You played with my heart 

I’m not about that life 

Never was and never will believe 

The shit you’ve done 

I’m stronger than that

Love, Peace and Honesty,

Dreya

Ambition …{Random Post} 9-25-16


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Ambition…

In this moment I’m reminded why I started

Wale released the album “Ambition”… 

2011

A year I graduated from college 

But felt like I had the biggest setback 

A dead end job hunt …

Questioned my purpose in life 

What direction was I going in

How would I step into the woman God needed me to be 

I always knew more was and is still in me 

The potential I know I have 

I just won’t let up on 

I was working at Wegmans 

Between Ambition by Wale and Beyoncé “I Was Here” 

I replayed both songs every day 

I wanted out 

Terrified because people told me Wegmans was it for me 

Plus I was in the mist of my weight loss journey 

The hurt from not finding a job

The hurt from a friendship that was dead to me gone wrong 

The hurt from B hurting me 

I became numb 

I lost myself in my workouts 

I tired myself out because that’s where I felt at my best 

But listening to those two songs kept me focused 

How I would get out from Wegmans 

How would I lose the weight 

How how how 

It just took a tole 

So when I hear those songs 

When I read my old poems from this time frame 

I just freeze 

I’ve grown so much from then 

Those who did hurt me, really didn’t deserve me 

They served their purpose 

Made me better for my true purpose 

My ambition is untouchable 

I refuse to let it slip away and just allow my dreams just be dreams 

It weighs heavy on my heart 

Not to be all I can and meant to be 

My dreams are massive 

Day by day I’m working on making my GRIND congruent to my dreams 

The tears I cry right now …

At this moment 

Mixture of happiness 

Growth 

Calling to help move forward 

Calling to help become better 

Calling to strengthen myself 

Help shed the old to create new 

Comes from my heart 

Love, Peace and Honesty,

Dreya the exFATgirl

Random Post…{September 5th,2016}


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2012…yeah that was me. The year I fell into depression after a year and change graduating from college and not working in my field. Was promised this 6 Figure job by Westwood College, never happened. Ended up working at Wegmans 7 years but I’m grateful because the depression lead me to finding my voice furthermore with my poetry. I learned that I lost confidence, I wanted love from someone who didn’t love themselves or know themselves plus wasn’t for me. This moment in time I fed the void of feeling empty with food. Empty because I wanted to be working fill time doing something I loved, I wanted to independence and I would be compared to friends and I felt less than. Wasn’t sure of my purpose at this time, everyone told me to be grateful for this “job”…I wanted more. It wasn’t until I met Cristi Burnham where I felt understood. This was a rough time in my life and I was distant from everyone …I was hiding from the world. I wasn’t happy with me. I truly was just existing in life instead of living in my full purpose and potential.

You don’t know what you don’t know, I had to be alone to figure myself out. You have no idea hat the truth is until have that time ❤️ it was a hard pill to swallow graduating and watching your friends go straight into their field of study and you have to work at a dead end job just to “tolerate”. It doesn’t feel good and I got sick and tired of tolerating a job for money. I quickly got tired of the paycheck to paycheck life and I knew I wanted more ! Everyone around me was stagnant and that was it for them. I know then and now there is more for me. It’s up to me to go get it. Nobody will go get what God has for me. I’m grateful for the talents God has gave me and this beautiful blessing called Herbalife. I GET to be me, flow and prosper. Life is what you make it, we only get ONE. Why not make it the best? Be blessed.

Love, Peace & Honesty

Your future favorite health coach,

Dreya the exFATgirl

NEW POEM …{August 27,16}


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Masking how I feel
I can’t deal
Building a business
Mental game gotta be strong
But for so long that’s all I’ve been
Strong …

Not having moments to be weak
To be vulnerable
To release
To heal
To accept that I love you
Even when I told myself not too

That’s the shit that burns the most
Because your not here to feel this hurt
Knowing I promised myself
I wasn’t gonna fall again
Until my King would catch me
Because for so long it’s just been me

Loving hard
Caring hard
Supporting hard
All I know is to go hard
Give 100 of myself, or nothing at all
But I have yet to do that for me

Theres no apology that can seal this
It’s as real as it gets
Just forgive and move on
I let you go so many times
Letting you back in because I feel comfort
I knew I had to let you go
Doing it once again hurt me so

I want you to feel my heart
I want you to feel the pain
I want you to feel the disappointment
But I know this too shall pass
This is for a moment
You know I bounce back

I still pray for you
As I pray for myself
My worth you couldn’t see
So I had to choose me
Even crying as I decided too
Just know I love you

Whether you realize how real it was
Whether you realize you had a good thing
Whether you realize you had my heart
Or not thank you for being a mistake
A mistake I had to grow from
A mistake that’ll make me a new

Bold Enough…{New Poem}


bold

Bold Enough…

I love who I’m growing into
Still building up my confidence
Now I’m more confident to be comfortable in my skin
I can smile
And it’s genuine

I see myself solid
Standing tall
A powerful presence
Humble still with a heart of gold
But bold enough to know

I’m chosen
My God told me to stand tall
Told me cause some friction
Raise your standards
Make em think, let em know your a force to be reckoned with

Not afraid to be sexy
Firm within my skin
I’m a woman, why be scared to show it?
But always remain a lady
Even when I’m in my sexy

Nothing wrong with rolling some heads
I’ve worked hard for this
It ain’t tricking if you got it
Every woman has it in them
You just have to be bold enough